CHAPTER
7
LOVE
OF MOTHER IN LAW
Sitting around the
dining table with her mother, younger brother who just came when
we
reached, and Mamaji was enough to make me nervous. However, I didn’t have cold
feet
and doubts about my decision; if they asked me to marry Ria, I was prepared to
say
a happy yes but this wasn’t going to happen as I had thought. It was
uncomfortable
for
me sitting in front of them and just being the centre of attention.
‘Doctors
say we should eat properly and without any obligation. Why aren’t they
concentrating on their plate instead of looking at
you?’ my mind asked.
Because I’m the scapegoat, I thought and passed a fake smile to her Mamaji.
‘Feeling
nervous about eating around people is common among men, women, and
children.
Social notions tell us that it is not nice to be seen eating in public, mostly
for
fear
that people will think we’re eating too much, and will look fat or
undesirable,’ my
mind
said, I re-worded inside again and coughed noisily when I meant to smile.
‘What
happened, beta?’ her mother asked me, pouring some water in my glass.
‘No
nothing, I’m fine, just have a cold,’ I said. I was sitting just in front of
her
mother,
to my left was Mamaji and to my right was my love…my precious…Ria. I
didn’t
want to look at my left side because as I had heard and had seen in my family,
Mamas
always poke their nose in others’ business. From Kans mama to Shakuni mama
they
all had to butt in in others’ lives. Before I could conclude anything, ‘So,
what do
you
do in Chandigarh?’ he asked me.
‘It
seems he’s still hungry,’ I thought. I turned at him and answered, ‘I work with
an
MNC
as a software engineer and deal with clients.’
One
more question came from the other side, her brother asked, ‘So what’s your
annual
package?’
‘What
the hell, he’s asking about my salary?’ I wanted to kick on his ass but a saala
is
always saala. I added few more thousands to my actual salary and said,
‘It’s around
seven.’
‘Not
bad,’ her Mamiji appreciated, the rest just smiled and her brother looked at me
with
a square face as if I had said something wrong.
‘Let
him eat peacefully,’ her mother said, looking at him. Ria kissed me in the air
and
that was a signal for me to relax…it happens in Indian families. I looked at
the wall
clock
and it seemed hundreds of years old. The clock said 9.45 p.m. Aunty placed a
big
bowl
of rajma in front of me.
‘Enough,
enough, aunty,’ I said.
She
placed two more chapattis in my plate. It’s really tough to be a son-in-law. I
finished
as fast as I could, as that dining table seemed the stage of drama…the Indian
melodrama.
She ladled one more spoon of rajma in my bowl and two big spoons of rice
in
my plate, ‘No aunty, I don’t want any more,’ I smiled at her and burped
‘Excuse
me,’ I said.
‘Just
a spoon of rice, you’re not a kid, just have it,’ her mother said. However, I
said
no
but I dreamt for that day and prayed this would continue in future.
‘How
is the rajma, beta?’ aunty asked me.
‘Yes,
it’s good. It’s tasty. You cook like my mother,’ I nodded with respect. ‘Ria
made
this. Very rarely does the sun rises in the west,’ her mother said. Ria looked
happy
because I liked the food. Licking my finger, I looked at her, ‘You cook well.’
Her
Mamaji put a laddoo in my plate, ‘One won’t make you fat. Moreover, girls care
about
their figure, not boys. Have it,’ he said. All of us stood up and washed our
hands.
It
was late now and I had to leave for home. ‘Hey where is my cell phone, I have
to
leave,’
I asked Ria.
‘Just
a minute.’
‘It’s
too late, stay here, you can leave tomorrow morning,’ aunty said.
‘No,
it’s only 10.00 p.m., I’ll go,’ I said.
‘Shut
up…I’ll drop you early morning,’ Ria said, looking for her mother’s
approval.
‘Don’t
threaten him. Is this a way to talk?’ her mother said, ‘Beta, it’s too late,
take
rest
and don’t worry. Tomorrow Ria will drop you early in the morning,’ her mother
tried to convince me.
‘Is
it fine to stay at her home? Where will I sleep if I stay?’ I thought. This was
not a
part
of my plan.
‘Don’t
worry; it’s just like your home.’ We came in the dining hall and I sat on the
sofa.
Her mother came to me and said, ‘It’s quite late. I wanted to talk to you about
you
and
Ria. Next week we’re coming to Chandigarh, then I’ll talk about it.’
I
guessed that she was talking about the seven vows.
‘My
family is also coming to Chandigarh. Then we can talk.’ I informed her.
‘That’s
great news, beta. I’ll talk to your mother. God bless you.’ She put her hand on
my
head and looked emotional.
‘All
mothers are like that.’ I hugged her partially.
‘Ria,
show him your room and keep the AC low and one water bottle on the table,
if
he needs it. Good night, beta. See you in the morning and sleep well.’
‘Come,’
Ria said. Her mother went into the kitchen and we went upstairs.
CHAPTER
8
MANGAL
SUTRA AND A MESSAGE IN WALLET
‘You are lucky to stay
here at my home. Boys rarely get the opportunity to stay at their
in-laws’
home before marriage,’ Ria unlocked the door, pushed it open and switched
on
the lights. The room had a sweet coffee fragrance. The walls were painted in
light,
warm
colours like cocoa, pink, beige and white. A coffee table with some armchairs
stood
at the corner of the room with a couch next to it. A big cute teddy bear soft
toy was
kept
on the stool next to the window and a framed collage of her college photographs
hung
just above the wooden bed. There were a couple of beautiful lead crystals on
each
of
the two bedside tables with artwork on the walls. Her room looked so serene, it
just
screamed
romantic and relaxing.
Once
I had heard my neighbour, Sharma aunty, talking to mom about her son-in-law
never
staying at her home and how she appreciated his values and respect for his
in-laws.
I
remembered those words now.
‘Ria,
staying here for the whole night doesn’t seem like a good idea,’ I said, even
though
I wanted to stay with her forever. However, sometimes you have to compromise
with
your wishes and consider your social values.
‘Mamma
knows about us, so there’s nothing to worry about. And, anyway, it’s only
for
one night; I’ll drop you home tomorrow morning,’ she said as she lit a few
small red
glass
candles. Moving to the door, she closed it smoothly and silently.
‘Still,
I’m not comfortable here. What will your Mamaji think? The way he was
asking
questions has made me really hate him.’
She
laughed aloud.
‘Don’t
laugh.’
‘It’s
okay. I’ll drop you early in the morning. Now sleep, and if you need anything,
call
me,’ she said, straightening the bedsheet and pillow and keeping the water
bottle on
the
table.
‘Hmm…by
the way your room looks so romantic and beautiful,’ I said admiringly,
looking
around once more. A few chocolates, wrapped in heart-shaped boxes were kept
on
the table. She picked one up and gave it to me. ‘What are you thinking?’
‘Just
imagining how sweet those moments will be when I drop you to work early in
the
morning.’
‘Now
sleep,’ she urged.
I
untied my wristwatch, threw my wallet on the bed.
‘Hey,
is that my card?’ she said, suddenly spotting a card in the wallet. She grabbed
it.
Happiness shone on her face like a child, and her tears didn’t take long to
spring to
her
eyes.
‘It’s
still in your wallet…and with the gift wrapper that I wrote on, too! I can’t
believe
it. And it’s been more than four years since I gave it to you.’
I
came close to her and wiped her tears. ‘And you know you tore it up when you
saw
this
in my wallet and I fought with you when you did.’
She
smiled tearfully, ‘I remember you shouted like a mad person.’ She touched that
card
and those two pieces of paper on which she had written two years ago: ‘Time may
be
good or bad but I’m always with you.’
I
hugged her from the back and kissed her on the neck. I held that card and
wrapper
tight
while locking her in my arms. We didn’t say anything for the next few seconds
and
then
she looked up into my eyes. Words failed us but we said everything there was to
say
the
moment our lips touched. We kissed tenderly and enjoyed the moment. She bit me
lightly
on my neck and left a mark there. Biting my ear, she murmured, ‘I love you.
Good
night.’
‘Hey
stay here for some time,’ I said.
‘Mamma
is waiting.’
‘Okay,
just one minute,’ I unzipped my bag and took the box from it and said, ‘I have
got
something for you.’
‘What’s
that?’ she asked very eagerly. As usual, she felt great and looked cheerful.
‘Just
close your eyes. This is for you.’ She closed her eyes and I came ahead. I
opened
the box, picked that sacred red thread that I had kept in the box while
leavening
from
Mumbai. Her eyes were still closed and I tied it around her neck. She touched
it
and
then opened her eyes, looking at it. ‘I couldn’t buy anything for you, so keep
it as a
mangal
sutra.’ We looked into each other’s eyes.
‘It’s
enough to make me happy and when you are with me, I don’t even need
anything.’
Her eyes sprinkled with tears and happiness. ‘Now you close your eyes. Even
I
have something for you,’ she said.
‘Oh,
really!’
‘Yes.’
‘Close
your eyes,’ she said.
I
did as she said. She tied something around my neck, ‘Don’t open your eyes.’ It
felt
like
a metal chain.
‘Now
you can open your eyes.’ I opened my eyes. It was a gold chain.
We
hugged each other. ‘I love you a lot but please keep it with yourself,’ I said.
‘Shut
up and no bakwas, keep it and if I see you without it then you’re dead.’
‘But
this is not right. It’s too costly and I can’t take it. I’ll take it the next
time I am
here
but not this time please.’ I tried to make her understand that I couldn’t take
that.
‘Hitu,
what right or wrong. Things we’ve done so far were not always right,’ she
blinked
her eyes, ‘Don’t worry and you look good in that and treat it as my bridle
which
will
keep you on the right track whenever you go astray.’
She
laughed and continued, ‘Now I’m going. See you tomorrow at the breakfast
table.’
‘You
are going without giving me a kiss,’ I looked at her like a baby boy.
‘Of
course not, my horse,’ she laughed again. She kissed on my cheeks and moved to
my
lips. We smooched for a long time. ‘Good night,’ she murmured. ‘Bye.’
‘No…’
our lips were rubbing against each other still.
‘Mamma
is waiting downstairs. Leave me...hmm.’
‘I
want to love you.’
‘Not
now. I have to go now but some other day.’ She released herself and moved out
of
the door, looking at me wildly.
‘I
love youuuu…bye.’
I
lay on the bed and relaxed a bit. I had to leave tomorrow morning. I looked
outside
the
window and fell asleep thinking about our future. I looked at myself again in
the
mirror,
and that gold chain became a part of this new life.
I
never unhooked it after the day she hooked it around my neck.
CHAPTER
9
RAPID
RULES TO IMPRESS IN-LAWS
Though I was lying on
the bed, I couldn’t sleep.
Couldn’t
we meet tonight? I want to meet her. I’m bored
here. I thought and closed
my
eyes. I was thinking about all the conversations again. After closing my eyes,
I felt
how
beautiful life was. I could feel that happiness in my heart but genuine
questions
came
in my mind about meeting my in-laws.
Did I look fine in front of her mother? Did I eat
properly in front of her Mamaji?
Did he see me when I blinked my eyes and kissed her
in the air? Was I a
blabbermouth, a gasbag? Or was I an introvert, shy
and meek? How did her mother feel about my arrival?
These
thoughts were jolting my mind. I was smiling remembering all the
conversations
once again, closing my eyes.
I
recollected all those conversation that Sharma aunty had with my mother during
her
daughter’s
marriage. I loved to sit with aunties and learnt many rare things but I never
thought
that sitting with Sharma aunty would really help me one day.
She
gave the best eleven RRII (Rapid Rules to Impress In-laws, I named it R2-I2)
for
the final innings at the in-laws home ground:
1.
Do your homework. Before going into your future in-laws’ house, be sure you
know
a
little bit about them. Talk to your partner, and ask them about their parents
so that
you
can get to know them better. This way, when you meet them, you can talk to
them
more, and bond with them with ease.
2.
Don’t forget that they may have the same insecurities about you that you have
of
them.
Maybe they want you to like them, but they just don’t know how to do it. Just
accept
the situation and be yourself, be relaxed, and encourage them to be
themselves.
Remember that your spouse comes from this house, there has to be a
common
thread somewhere for you to get along.
3.
When meeting the mother of your better half, it’s all about the compliments and
smiles.
Make sure that you compliment the legendary mom. There is nothing better
or
impressive than giving your future mother-in-law a compliment. All this shows
your
care and is a sign of respect for her and for her family.
4.
Ask about her health before you take care of yourself. Take interest in your
in-laws’
life
and their extended family. Be ready to help and ready to serve and then she’ll
come
to know that you will make her princess happy for life. This is a great way to
get
to know more about them.
5.
Join in the family fun. If you’re meeting your future in-laws, then it means
that
you’re
going to be a part of the family soon, so don’t be afraid to join in. You can
be
friendly with the family, so give your lovely smile and don’t alienate
yourself.
6.
Respect their objects no matters living or non-living. This is the rule of
respect and
then
they’ll respect you in return.
7.
Make your own identity and be genuine in front of the family. It’s not easy to
impress
your in-laws, especially mother-in-law, but you have to do so with your
positive
attitude and respect for her. Being nervous is obvious but don’t pretend
that
you’re too open. Be decent but don’t flatter.
8.
Bring a symbol of respect; it can be in form of sweets or gifts. When you don’t
know
about their choices, it’s better to bring sweets or chocolates for kids in the
family.
Alternatively, if you’re visiting them for the first time then bring a flower
bouquet.
Moreover, in some cultures, decent gifts or a token of shagun in the form
of
money seems the best symbol of respect for the whole family.
9.
Dress for the occasion. Show class, yet be a bit formal. Unless you’re meeting
the
parents
over a picnic, dress up a little. That’s not a very serious thing to remember
but
you can’t ignore it. Look decent because your mother-in-law’s eyes are always
on
you.
10.
Talk to the family, as you’re a part of it but don’t get too involved. A
healthy
conversation
is incredibly necessary when it comes to the first meeting because the
whole
family wants to see what you’re all about. Don’t be afraid to impress them
and
this is the time when you should show them who you are, and what about you
made
your better half fall in love with you.
11.
Don’t feel shy or uncomfortable talking to your better half while you’re
meeting
your
in-laws. Don’t forget that you’re there for your better half so give time to
everyone.
This way the family can see why your presence is important for your
better
half.
I
was happy and I followed each rule as well as I could. They were happy, too, I
knew.
God bless you, Sharma aunty.
A
small blue bulb was glowing just above the aquarium in the room and soft light
was
falling beautifully on those colourful fishes. My silence was broken when a
small
blue
fish hit the glass wall. I blinked my eyes and smiled.
I
couldn’t sleep in this completely new place, though I had already made many
plans
to
spend nights here with my better half.
Holding
the pillow in my arms, I was smiling for no reason, and then I heard a knock
at
the door. I ignored it and slept again lazy as I was.
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